Flying first

Have you ever wondered what flying business from Prague to Bratislava buys you? If yes, then I can pipe right in and tell you - it doesn’t buy much, besides the thrill of receiving an upgrade for a ticket I didn’t purchase in the first place and the added kick of holding for a few minutes a piece of paper that declares itself BUSINESS class. Did anyone (besides myself) notice? Most likely not, but I certainly felt at the time that the security guy and ticket collectors must suspect me of being something more than a lady in a wilting business suit (it was a hot day on the tarmac).

I applied this self-absorbed musing to myself, but did not bother to assume it for anyone else (hot day you know). My seat mate was a genial fellow - so genial he asked what I was studying in university - dressed casually in a hipster t-shirt and slacks. I thought he was a shy guy who had been upgraded, like me, by the luck of the draw. Then, half way through our flight, as I am holding forth on the beauties of Bratislava and babbling about the business opportunities there, my shy guy agrees and mentions that he headed up one of those very big companies that I’m talking about. I almost didn’t believe him, so apologetic was his manner, and so casual his dress, and it wasn’t until he pulled out his business card from a gorgeous leather card case tucked in its bigger sibling matching bag that I realized he wasn’t pulling my leg.

Together we went through the moistened washcloth ritual. Like most guys, he washed his entire face, hands and neck. I daubed at my hands and wondered just how long washclothes take for the microwave to cook them and how much bacteria the microwave can kill (grody man, really). Then it was time for lunch off plastic trays clinking with honest to goodness metal forks and spoons and porcelain plates. I actually preferred the sandwiches in normal class to the mystery mix on the open faced chlebicky, and the chocolate cookie tasted like stale lard, but by gum it was served on china and that counts for something! Which reminds me, can anyone explain why passengers are forbidden to bring on board their own cutlery when every seat holder in business class is well armed, at least for lunch?