Friday, August 26, 2005

This morning, when I ran to the door to buzz in our babysitter, I jangled. “Coins?” asked Caroline, as I swooped to pick her up, football style, using her ribs as a hand hold and my right hip as a saddle, trying to get to the door before the second buzzer sounded and C started crying (she suffers doorbell intolerance).

We’re getting ready for a party tonight, and I’m cleaning all flat surfaces, picking up spare change and pocketing it as I move from one room to another. You can tell we’ve been traveling, because I’ve got danish koruna, euros, and swiss francs in three pockets and a varied cache – polish zloty, slovak crowns, the random british pence - in the last. We’ve been visiting the fringes of the euro zone, mostly, so we don’t appreciate the euro as much as I thought we would, back in 2002 when going to the grocery store in France meant a lesson from the cashier in the new coinage (this ees the euro 1, this ees the euro 2, this ees a penny, silly no?).

I like the multi-currencies though, when they aren’t weighing me down. Later, when I sort them to store, I'll admire their quaintly ugly faces (coin design, death by committee), remember the sweat of figuring each out while fumbling to pay, and try to calculate the number of coffees they could buy if we were back, traveling again.

But standing there, holding Caroline with one hand, pulling up my sagging blue jeans with the other, I think only about the relative weight of the things we value. “Coins indeed,” I say, and give Caroline my favorite – the silver danish koruna tooled with hearts around the edges, and a donut hole in the middle.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Snapshot

Cleaning the kitchen, I heard a loud silence in our bedroom today. I peeked in to find Caroline having a tea party. One hand held our green chipped mug, the other, a plastic spoon. She was stirring her brew. Then I looked again and realized that 5 tea bags draped their labels over the mug's side. 5 of our favorite, red packaged, Twinings English Breakfast tea bags, the kind we buy in bulk when we find it, because mostly we don't.

"Tea!" she said, and held it out for my inspection.

What could I say? A daughter after my own heart. "Tea" I agreed, and sat down to pretend sip out of a plastic sugar bowl.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Without distractions, where would we be,
......shocked by consciousness' chasm.

I get stuck there, sometimes
......standing in the shower, wondering why -
caught within the layers of perception.

My skin turns cold beneath the scalding water
......I reach out and turn up the radio.

Monday, August 15, 2005

There's grody and then there's grody (or, dinner conversation with a two year old)

Remember to chew and swallow. No more bites until you’ve finished that mouthful.
Head nod, then C carefully extracts chewed up pork from her mouth and places it delicately on plate.

Oh grody! Don’t do that! You’ve got to swallow your food, not spit it out. Please please just eat small bites. Look, watch mommy.
I eat my tomatoes, C eats her tomatoes

Yum, that’s the way, use your fork and eat the tomatoes. One-at-a-time.
C clears her plate, except for the pork lump.
“Yum” says C.

Super, are you finished now?
C shakes her head no and picks up chewed pork.
“Grody” she adds.
C pops pork into mouth.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 - tak”

Caroline is counting everything she can find, from bricks on the wall to pieces of breadstick she’s partially eaten and then thoughtfully scattered across the carpet. She often counts the same thing twice, but she always gets to 10, now that she can. And then she says “tak.”

Czech dictionaries define tak as “so” or “thus.” Many people use it as a way of opening a sentence, or changing conversational gears and introducing something new. Our babysitter says tak when she finishes setting something straight for example, or succeeds in brushing Caroline's hair, and when she says it you know that she is happy with her results. C has picked up the habit too and it tickles me to hear her summon up a satisfied “tak” at the end of a counting game, or when a block fits well within her design of a Lego chair for dollies. It sounds so adult somehow, so careful, such an alien impulse in someone attracted to order as a means of demonstrating, yet again, the second law of thermodynamics.

Monday, August 01, 2005

We’re going to Denmark this week – a new country for us, even a new part of Europe. I’m looking forward to it with an anticipation that seems to have forgotten that two year olds and traveling don’t quite meet rapturously.

After a quick round of “If-I-Will-U,” Will legged it through Saturday’s heat wave to Luxor books, down on Vaclavske Namesti, for a copy of the Lonely Planet’s Copenhagen guide. It’s the 2005 edition, newly redesigned and surprisingly readable. I spent Caroline’s nap greedily consuming it, sticky noting museums, restaurants, areas of town that we could see. By nap’s end, the book bristled like an origami porcupine, and what had seemed an amorphous trip - something happening in a few days, too much stuff to get done before we leave to think about sort of thing – suddenly became exciting and real.

I tried to remember the last time I’d really relied on a guidebook and realized it had been years ago, just before we moved to Europe. In the month between quitting my job and moving over, we bought every book we could find on the Czech Republic and Prague and poured over them as if they were magical tablets, holding the key to getting by in a foreign country. In the end they didn’t really answer our questions about how to live here, but they kept us busy for those weeks and, when we arrived, were the first books on our shelves - totems of all the books we’d left behind.

This weekend’s reading was more light hearted. I’m not worried about figuring out how to live somewhere, just how to pleasantly fill five days. I know, in general, what to do when traveling - what to look for when you land in an airport, how to use a metro, how to convert korunas to krone. All the basics set aside, I can concentrate on creating a fantasy schedule where we see everything and the weather is perfect, and then a real one, taking into account time, a toddler and a weather forecast that seems to indicate rain for seven days straight. Fun stuff, this day dreaming, and I almost understand a friend who traveled to Venice and spent her first day sitting in a hotel room pouring over the Venice Dorling Kindersly guide book because the pictures were so good. But not quite.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Last Night

The hottest I’ve spent in the Czech Republic. Without AC and with the fan in C’s room, we opened the door to the balcony wide and hoped for some breeze. Will finally fell asleep but it was still too hot for me, so I spent most of the night perched on a garden chair, out on the balcony, counting the lights around the courtyard and trying to guess which would be the last to turn off. It turned out to be the small string of fairy lights in the far corner of the courtyard, not the reddish lava lamp in the penthouse with the terrace (my guess).

It was very quiet, last night. Because of the unusual heat, most people escaped to the countryside early yesterday, and at least two of the buildings in our square were completely silent. One – directly behind us – is the local courthouse, so it empties at 4 on Fridays and doesn’t stir until 7 on Mondays. Another, just next door, is empty of tenants, waiting to be sold. Only one older man lives there, the caretaker. I met him once when I went on a tour of the building. He reeked of sour sweat and alcohol, and spent the hour slowly shaking out keys to fit each door while trying to stay upright - showing off the meticulous intensity of a drunk in the middle of the day. At night his light goes off early and he never opens his windows. I can only imagine how hot his rooms must be.

Towards 3 a thunderstorm blew through, but it was just a little guy that had darted ahead of the high pressure system moving in from Germany sometime today. Afterwards it felt even hotter and reminded me of hot nights in Charleston when sitting outside feels as if you are swimming (and breathing) in the lightest of warm waters. When you have air conditioning to return to, that swimming sensation can be a magical experience. When that's the only air you've got, it can feel a little suffocating. Once the last light switched off in our courtyard, I came in and stood in front of the ice box, sipping a cold glass of apple juice and inhaling the freezer air. It was 4:30, and time to sleep.



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Friday, July 29, 2005

Do you surf art museum web sites? I’ve been a dabbler for years, since I first discovered the National Gallery of Art museum site (U.S. NGA), and the Guggenheim. Then I'd cruise to museum sites to check out the design, look up a picture I'd read about, catch exhibition info. But it wasn’t until recently that I found a museum site really worth serious surfing and download time, something that could almost equal the experience of being there.

The Rijks Museum changed my mind. It's in Amsterdam, and the home of "Night Watch" and several Vermeers, so justly well known in its brick and mortar state. It isn't a museum with the budget of the NGA though, so when I found the website I was mightly impressed by what they'd put together. Check the Rijks out and let me know if you aren’t blown away by the fabulous design and then by the close ups of the opening images and the master collection.

In some cases the images preserved online are bigger than the actual canvas (especially the Vermeers), letting you see the details of the brush strokes. The quality of the print is certainly better than reproductions in books, and, because of the even illumination of a computer screen, probably better than most viewings in real life. I can gaze as long as I want, unbothered by crowds, gallery hours and guards that froth if you get within two feet of their treasure (sadly, understandably so if you consider how many pieces of art have been stolen or destroyed in the past few years while in public galleries).

I can only equate the novelty of the experience to what it must have been like to listen to the first magnetic tape recordings of music, during the forties. That’s when recorded sound quality leaped ahead so quickly people could be confused whether they were listening to live music or recordings. Gramophones had always added a certain buzz. It was hard to even pick up the intonations of, say, a harpsichord. Most voice, string instruments and pianos -while audible - still sounded much better in person. With the advent of the Magnetophon though, everything changed. Listeners could feel that the best seat in the concert hall was their armchair, at home comfily in front of the fire. Could it be that online art museums will one day also fulfill that function for the art world?

For more on the magnetophone and the sea change in music in the early 20th century due to the recording industry, check out this recent New Yorker article.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Hot hot weather here. Very hot. I went out to a meeting today dressed in a pair of khakis and a light oxford shirt and all the women looked at me as if I were insane because I wasn’t wearing a sleeveless sun dress. The trams were furnacelike, the dogs looked melted and every child had an ice cream in their hand. But Prague is still not as hot as South Carolina. I called my brother yesterday, and he told me he was in his car heading down the (untree-lined) highway. The heat index was 115. Add 15 degrees for a car without AC and I’m betting he could have slow cooked an egg on the front windscreen if he hadn’t had all the windows open.


Ya'll keep hydrated, okay?!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Reality check

On the phone with my sister the other day, I complained self-righteously about how often I am asked if we are going to have another child. “I mean, I don’t think people realize just how much your life changes when you have two!” I said, conjuring fantasies of how cool our life is, how hip and urbane, compared with my concept of suburbia, which is two kids. A pause, and Ellen replied, “Um don’t you think your life has already changed?”

Good point Ee.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

123 Swing!

We are trying to teach Caroline to be a walking sort of girl. Already she has rebelled against the constriction of stroller life. When we take her for a ride in her charek* (as she calls it), I spend half the walk bent over, holding our 90 cm heavy weight to just the right height for stroller pushing. At least that means we’re going forward.

Mostly I leave the stroller at home, and concentrate on forward ho walking strategies. Playing the swing game is a good one, and will work almost all of the time unless C’s tired, or there is a wind blowing, or a dog on the street, or...well, it works most of the time. Swing is in my current top ten parenting techniques for toddlers because it is fun, gets us from place to place and is educational to boot. What more could a working maminka ask for? Educational you may scoff, but yes - via Swing, C practices counting and learns something about time, or at least about anticipation. At her count of three we swing her between us, stomp ten or twenty steps and then she counts to three again. Swing!

If it’s just me and C, walking is a tougher proposal. We'll be motivating ahead, and suddenly she'll wheel round and grab my leg, then lift her arms and beg me to "carry you" (pronouns, a tricky endeavor). When I lean down to explain that if we can just get to the end of that block, I’ll pick her up and carry her, she grabs my neck and buries her face in my shoulder. Hard to resist. But distractions sometimes work, and as we keep walking, I get her to point out children, pigeons and dogs (all on their own feet).

We head out on a hike every day after I stop work, meeting Will halfway home so we can enjoy the gorgeous summer weather. It’s the only time I leave the flat most days, and I get a little dressed up (ie, change out of pyjamas), pull back my hair and try to look ready to meet the world. But after five blocks of Caroline, Will mostly comes upon us with my hair flying, shirt untucked and a wild look in my eye - C drumming her feet happily in my chest, yelling dada dada! Then it’s time for a refreshing game of Swing, and we all walk home, counting and swinging and feeling the summer air blow by.*charek is short for kočarek or stroller. Apparently the Czech word comes from the same root as the English word coach.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Yellow is not a color I put on normally (I was once described quite aptly as greenish yellow by an Italian friend of mine, and I get even more greenish when I add it externally). But to drive by fields full – canola flowers in May, sunflowers in July – makes me want to swallow whole the view, to get out of the car and lick up the colors with a paintbrush or a camera.

Caroline seems to feel the same way about grass. Whenever she sees lawn, she runs to it and flies in slow ellipses, arms flung wide and her smile dashing ahead. Tall grass turns her into a lion and she sits on her haunches, seed tips above her head, splendidly isolated by her nest of green. She so rarely sits quietly that I am always surprised by this transformation from swooping swift to still lion.

This weekend we drove to the mountains between Dresden and Prague and on the way I had my chance to drive through fields of sunflowers, and to see the hop vines that are nearly at their peak. Once arrived, Caroline ran amuck with her friend Viki, a nearly two herself who taught C how to hold a piece of grass to examine life in the wild, and how to stomp in mud puddles. Caroline obligingly demonstrated how to shake the fence in the children’s playground, and they took turns mimicking each other, fake coughing in echoes.

We took our time getting anywhere, with two twos, and the getting there was half the fun – parents chatting, children holding hands and careening about like taffy being pulled from one side of the path to another. Together they met multitudes of butterflies, a tiny frog and a slug that was slowly crossing the road. They hiked nearly to the top of a hill, and helped pick raspberries. Caroline lioned in the grass, and then the girls sat on a picnic blanket and lapped up yogurt and crackers and even some good for you cheese. They didn’t speak a language in common, but by the end of the trip they could say each other’s names and that was enough for them.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Insomnia

Friday and Will's back tonight. All went well this week, but I am feeling the effect of going to sleep at midnight and waking up at 5:30 with Caroline every day. I have that groggy, heavy headed feeling that I lived with for C's first year. Sleep deprivation - a mind numbing, time creeping form of drip torture. Hurrah for Will's return!!

(Yes yes I would go to sleep earlier than midnight if I could, really I would. But as soon as it gets dark - presto fizzo - I'm awake.)

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

C's longest sentence so far

Bah bah mooneh, c u enda monin!
(Bye bye moon, see you in the morning)